Who should be blamed?

IMAGINE.
First day of Class.

                    As a student, you perceive that its' a fresh school year to study, to explore, and to learn more.You are oh-so-excited to go to your classroom and listen to your teacher's "words of wisdom". You had your notebook, pen and yourself ready for another semester of feeding your heart, soul and most especially, your mind. Then, your professor came and discussed the lessons and whollah, your excitement vanished. You're disenchanted with the professor's unfriendly, boring and uber-serious kind of teaching. You think that he did nothing but to talk none sense and so you've decided not to listen anymore. On the other hand, the professor thinks he teaches well. He talks generously and often provides examples from his personal experiences.  His equipped with props,visual aids and tons of knowledge regarding his subject. For him, the lessons would easily be understood, as long as the students cooperate and listen attentively. Days passed and he gave a quiz. Unfortunately, the student failed, and the "BLAME GAME" started. The student blamed the professor about his score and vice-versa. Now, WHO should be blamed?

Would it be

                    In most classes, the professor is the main speaker. He is responsible to relay and convey his lessons effectively to his students. He must be acquainted enough not only in his lessons but also in dealing interactively with his students. The students should not lose interest in him, or else they would also lose interest in studying.How could the students listen attentively if the professor doesn't know how to clearly state and elaborate what he wanted to say? He needs to make sure that his voice could be heard, his terms are not too complex, and his ideas are precise. An effective speaker must know how to make his talk lively, entertaining and interactive, all the time.

Or

                   Well,most of us know that an effective communication process involves a source and a receiver. The student, in this case would be one of the receivers and/or listeners. I believe that the responsibility for listening well is on the listener. Interpersonal effectiveness needs not only expressing our thoughts but also listening to what others has to say. Even if the one that would lead a talk would be a Toastmasters champ, a listener would not understand anything if he is preoccupied with something else. The student should know how to control his thoughts and obtain respect for the speaker. All of the speaker's preparations and visual aids would be useless if the listener is not ready to cooperate. Listening attentively means one understands what the person is thinking and/or feeling from the other person’s own perspective. If a student knows how to listen effectively, understanding the lessons and acing a test would never be difficult.

In reality, communication is a 100% responsibility by both the listener and the speaker.

I am beautiful,no matter what they say

Beautiful

Media is one of the most powerful tools for persuading people.It dictates what,where and when to shop,eat and live.It provides most of the information and at the same time,entertainment.It is very influential and ineradicable to our lives.

Media also defines beauty.Actually,it produced beauty stereotypes.As I searched for beautiful women, this is one of the pictures that popped out.

Who told us that she's pretty?Its' the Media.She's pretty because she's fair,skinny,kinda blonde and sexy.That's the stereotype right?Then, I continued searching for a picture with the label, ugly girl and this is what I've found.

I don't know if she labelled herself  "ugly"or someone did it to her.And she's not ugly for me.

Media made depression among teenagers much worse as the teens become pressured from the society,their peers (they are already lucky if they have one) and the people around them. They must join the fad of being fair,tall,and skinny.Those who didn't fit in the fad rules would be outcasts and bullied.As a result,more teenagers would chose to be anorexic in order to belong rather than to be bullied and laughed at.

My classmates started to tease me "pig" when I was on my fifth grade. I wasn't very fat. I think my weight was just appropriate for my age.But for my other classmates, I looked overweight already.It continued until I reached Highschool.At first, I ignored them.But on my Third Year, I realized that I'm not pretty because I increased weight.I started a wrong diet which resulted to ulcers.From time to time I would check my waistline and got depressed everytime I didn't lose a centimeter.I joined the C.A.T and did lots of trainings and push ups.But my weight stayed the same.I envied celebrities,looking at how easy it is for them to be and to stay pretty and sexy.I promised that if I'm earning already, I would go to Belo for a lipo,skin whitening,facial and a lot more procedures.I was not confident with myself and my self-esteem was very low.

Women got more pressures than men in terms of "the standards of beauty" because I guess,men doesn't really care.Well,some of them might do,but women are associated more with vanity than men.Women spend more time in the restrooms than men,more time in the Department Store than men,more time in the toiletries section than men,and a lot more.This could imply that women could possibly have more insecurities than men brought by media's influence and persuasion.

Our communication anxiety would be reduced if we stop thinking about the petty problems caused by our physical imperfections and start relating with other beautiful people.
As Christina Aguillera sings, "I am beautiful, no matter what they say. Words can't bring me down."

Aim high,even if you're feeling down

"At ang ating Binibining Luzon ay si..."

I was there at the stage,smiling at the crowd, with my stomach in and chest out but deep within, I was trembling.There were only two titles left and my name was not yet called."Lord,please let me win,please Lord.Even just the first runner up Lord, so that the efforts of Tito Richard (my ever-supportive stepfather) and Mama wouldn't go to waste Lord", I murmured the little prayer while waiting for the announcement of the "Binibining Luzon" (first runner up) and the "Lakambini' for our "Buwan ng Wika" celebration.

Why am I trembling? I was trembling because I wanted to win but I felt that my classmates don't feel the same for me.They were the ones who chose me to represent our class, but I didn't see any support from them (Yes,I'm very sensitive). I was hesitant to join at first; knowing that my family and step family wouldn't want me to join in contests that requires spending some cash (and for this case,Lakan at Lakambini involves money contest) but I finally agreed when our adviser told me that its' "once in a highschool's lifetime experience".

My parents supported my decision to join the pageant but warned me not to tell anything about it to Nanay (my step Grandma) because she might get mad knowing that they would spend money for me and a simple event.

And that was the first obstacle.

Mama and I couldn't go to places farther than our town to find a Filipiniana because Nanay might ask what took us so long and where we came from,another thing was that we must keep everything that we buy for the "Lakan at Lakambini" like my accesories and heels so that she wont get a hint.

The second hurdle was selling the tickets. I'm not good at marketing myself!With the help of my bestfriend, Niña and my parents we were able to collect 2,500 pesos. Its' okay, I don't want to spend much money for the tickets either.And so I ranked 7th or 8th out of 9 candidates.The others gave 10,000 and plus pesos.

And the day came,I felt so insecure and inferior.My filipiniana wasn't nice,its not suited for daytime use because its' dark gold hue,my accesories were plain and simple,and my classmates showed no support.While my co-candidates are looking good,confident with their gaily attires and got a nice shot of audience impact.

Inspite the heat,the no support crowd,the dull and simple gown,the insecurity,and the inferiority, I still managed to dream and think.I wanted to win!So how would I win if

• I don't have audience impact
• I didn't sell much tickets
• My Filipiniana was plain and simple
• I just rented it from our town's public market
• all of my contenders were "the opposite"

and the answer to my inquiry was the Q and A portion.  I must prove to them that their money,vibrant costumes and funny makeup artists are useless if they don't have brains.I didn't lose faith and the next thing I've heard was the audience's applause for my answer (which I couldn't remember anymore,the same thing with the question).

"At ang ating Binibining Luzon ay si  Alyssa Louise Lozanes mula sa ika-siyam na baitang ng San Mateo".

Yes!I've won. I was hailed as the first runner up in the competition that gave me lots of reasons to quit and give up.

Always dream, and make it happen.

The single picture that I got from the Lakan at Lakambini '08